1.

This is less than satisfactory and too far from amusing to provide much, if any, humor.

I'm not fond of the strage effects this place seems to have on both myself and my brother. It is a minor setback, but a setback, nonetheless, and is, thus, quite annoying.

Perhaps I'm just in a bad mood.

As it is, I have yet to be made into little berries inside of a pie that are going to get eaten by a matchbox. I look forward to this amazing turn of events, whenever it shall take place, and happily await my existence-to-be as a food item.

I should like to humbly inform you all that the only ones permitted to partake in the deliciousness of the to-be Yazoo-berries-in-a-pie are my siblings, my mother, and the aforementioned matchbox. Should any of you not on that list take it upon themselves to partake, I'm afraid you will meet a very untimely, gruesome death for which I will not be sorry.

Edit: On second thought, anyone aside from my siblings and mother are to partake in the aforementioned treat. Thank you.